As a new mom, I had no idea that breastfeeding support would be so lacking, and it’s such a shame that most so-called breastfeeding ‘specialists’ or ‘experts’ are lacking in the compassion and support that a new mom needs to continue with the breastfeeding journey.
When my daughter dropped 11.5% of her bodyweight only three days after her birth, we had to spend a few days in hospital. I was struggling to get her to latch on, worried constantly, there was lack of breastfeeding support while in hospital, and I was forced under pressure to give her formula, to increase her weight gain. It was the worst feeling in the world as a mother.
Why do I hate Formula?
Well, it’s not breastmilk. The costs are ridiculous. I hate what Nestle did to those poor mothers, giving them formula free and discouraging them to breastfeed their children, and then when the babies were used to the formula, charging them for it. It’s a disgusting practice and, let’s face it, the formula market is a big lobbylist against breastfeeding, which is completely free and the best source of nutrition for your child.
Breastmilk is easy for your child to digest, boosts their immune system, and prevents the risk of sudden infant death syndrome.
Yep, did you know that formula gives an increased risk of SIDS, because the child goes into a deeper sleep with formula.
The Pressure to Formula Feed
While in hospital, with the pressure from hospital staff on me to feed my child formula, I caved in and fed her the little 60ml bottles of Aptimel. I was praying to Jesus for help, while also expressing milk (only about 40mls per day) and that help finally came two days later on Wednesday where the support was amazing, and I could finally relax and bond with my baby, and I breastfed her on and off from that evening, but in the night she was very distressed and finally my husband had to ask ‘why are we still here’. They discharged us at 4.30AM and I drove us home.
Breastfeeding was a breeze then for days. Our beautiful Grace gained weight, but I struggled again days later as she had a cluster feed that took around two hours and my nipples were sore. That’s when I began to express four or five times a day with about 60ml to 90ml being expressed per 30 mins. We fed this to her via bottle. Although I should have been offering her the breast, I was failing to do so. We also gave her some HIPP organic formula (about 120ml) per day, but she was mostly receiving expressed milk during this time. I worried if she had tongue tie, so we booked her in to see a tongue tie specialist, Pippa Harrison.
The Tongue Tie and Infant Feeding Specialist
I find it incredible that people can call themselves specialists when they don’t actually provide any support on breastfeeding. I was told to hold my child, while she popped my baby’s mouth onto my breast, which was uncomfortable not only for me, but my baby. Latching on cannot be forced. I had done it before, and I knew I could do it again. Thankfully, her tongue was fine.
Her advice.
My baby was now used to the bottle. That’s the worse thing to say to a mother who wants the best for her baby. She even went down the route of saying ‘have they told you that you don’t have to breastfeed’, just like another formula advocate nurse I experienced in hospital who kept giving me daggers, while watching my desperateness and telling me the same. Just because I had gotten upset, they then start to talk about mental health. They are stone cold lacking compassion and I can’t communicate with people like that.
What about the role of oxytocin during breastfeeding, that helps to develop a bond between mother and baby? It’s such a wonderful feeling, and absolutely essential if you experience mental health issues, like myself. Yet, experts seem to forget those natural hormones and that essential bonding that mothers want with their child. Again, it made me even more determined to succeed!
While in hospital, it angered me incredibly that my desperateness was being used against me as mentally unstable, obsessed to breastfeed, and I plainly told her I did not want to work with her. If that the was only breastfeeding support available on the Tuesday, then I didn’t want it. She was not a lover of breasts and I wanted a breast loving lady to work with. Then my husband saw my determination in continuing to fight for breastfeeding support for my baby, and he’s an amazing support. I am blessed.
It pees me off that these people call themselves ‘experts’ and ‘specialists’ when they fail to help women where they are at. Sure, I got emotional during that £75 meeting, in which we had paid for an hour with a supposed infant feeding specialist. We were seen late at quarter past twelve, and she tried to fob us off at quarter to one, to which I gave her a piece of my mind. She was so false, even wanting to hug me. She promised to call a friendly midwife to ask for breastfeeding support for me, but that call never came, so I know Pippa Harrison doesn’t care about her paying customers.
Thankfully, my amazing husband fed my baby a little of the milk I had expressed that morning, and told me Grace still seemed hungry and to offer her the breast, to which she latched on and the breastfeeding has continued exclusively ever since. Praise Jesus and the wonderful husband he has given me. Grace has gained 300g and is now above her original 8lbs 4oz birth weight. Woohoo!
Women can be such haters of the female form, especially when babies are distressed and crying, but I’ve persevered. I’m not one to give up easily, even though I become emotional in the moment. All I want is the best for our baby, and I’m sure millions of mothers feel the same, but fail to receive that support from the so-called experts. It certainly pees me off that women are forced to give up and opt for formula feed.
One wonderful piece of equipment I have invested in is the nursing pillow. After a nappy change, Grace is open eyed, not crying, and makes eye contact with me, and we place her on the nursing pillow and she often takes to the breast within minutes.
Jesus is the Saviour and Helper for All
Let me tell you that Jesus loves you. He is always there, for everyone, every second of every day. He wants us to depend on Him, and during those stressful moments when Grace is crying and distressed, He answers my prayer and she latches on for a good feed. Salvation is not of works, or else why did Jesus have to die on the cross for our sins. Heaven is a perfect place, that’s why we too have to be as righteous as Jesus and He gives us His own righteousness by faith in Him. Salvation is that easy, yet religion gets in the way and tells you that works are involved. They are not. Salvation is by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, and fellowship with God is also by grace, depending upon Him in every decision we make, guided by prayer, and that peace is available freely, if only we ASK HIM.
What’s Your Experience of Breastfeeding?
Write me if you have experienced the same breastfeeding distress, where no help was available to you and you felt forced to formula feed. It really shouldn’t be like this. Don’t give up. Breasts are wonderful at producing milk to feed your baby, and I worked hard these past three weeks, against a lot of pressure from hospital staff to formula feed, but the strength of my husband, and answered prayer from Jesus, has given me the strength to not give up on breastfeeding our beautiful daughter and she is thriving, having plenty of healthy poos and wees, and there is less pressure on us now because we’ve been discharged from the midwifery team.
